The Golden Globes mark the beginning of Awards Season, or Hollywood Fashion Season, or, if you are me, the time to make up stories based on various actors wearing wacky clothes and/or posing alone or in groups as if they were ready to throw down. For example:
Janelle Monae, who never disappoints, is dressed as a Wonderland creature. She’s part Caterpillar, in a mushroom dress, part chess piece, all amazing. Like, can you IMAGINE the psychedelic dance number this outfit appears in????? I would like to green light the film immediately. So, we need a cast.
Alice
I love this a lot. It’s bonkers in the best way and therefore perfect for the superhero-dystopian-cyberpunk-Wonderland film I would like to make. She’s wearing what remains of a gown when it is ripped to pieces and reworked into the costume of a Wonderland warrior queen.
White Queen, Red Queen, Black Queen
Gillian is actually dressed as a chess piece, Brie’s red is perfection, and when Amy Adams shows up like this you add another Queen to the narrative. It’s a law.
White Rabbit
She doesn’t look like she is rushing to be anywhere, ever, but otherwise all she needs is a pocket watch. Swagger on.
Mad Hatter and March Hare
Look at these precious humans.
They’ll also need a Dormouse
Cheshire Cat
Queen of Hearts
Obviously.
Knave(s) of Hearts
So this was the cutest thing to EVER happen at an awards show in my memory and I love them both so much!!!!
Duchess
I’m thinking she gives Alice some good advice — during a dance number of course. Faded showgirl chic for the win!
The Lion and the Unicorn
Rawr. Tracee was the Most Adorable even before she won btw:
And lady is legit ready to fight with all that armor!!!!
White Knight
She looks like the statue of a goddess come to life, GUH.
Jabberwocky
This lady should have won last night. To make up for it, I cast her as the uber powerful monster who Alice tames, after which she joins Alice’s Army and breathes the fire of redemption across all of Wonderland. A vital, meaty role worthy of this queen.
Alice’s Army of Flowers
The Queen’s Army of Pawns
The Looking Glass
Seriously, Hollywood, I want this movie. THE LOOKING GLASS AS AN ANDROID COMPANION/PROTECTOR/MAYBE LOVE INTEREST????? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS. Anyways, she’s Alice’s secret weapon. The Queen’s secret weapon is:
Darth Vader.
Which brings us to my most favourite look of the night:
Natalie Portman dressed impeccably in what Ep 3 Padmé Amidala would wear if she were in Starfleet instead of the Galactic Senate. I know what you’re thinking, none of that fits into the Wonderland narrative. Except:
That happened.
